I have often found myself agitating over others opinion about me, my work, my words. However, I have found that I have been less critical about myself in my moments of quiet.

As I lazily switched channels last evening, the serene face and calm words of a young Brahmakumari sister arrested my attention. This woman had a beautiful, attractive glow and spoke a delectable Hinglish. I have always been a sucker for good spoken English, so I stayed uncharacteristically on the channel to hear her speak.

 She spoke effortlessly about packing into our mind, only what we would actually use the next day – clear away the crap she urged. She spoke about how we drag on in our minds the unnecessary baggage of hurt and travel very very “un-light” on life’s journey. Every insult, every hurt, every disagreement is carefully packed , thereby leaving little space to pack in the things we really need – like our lessons and our happiness.

 Why do we pack in the hurt? We do so, she says, because we weigh ourselves by the opinions of others. We glow in the praise others heap on us, we simmer in the anger and hurt of unkind words we hear about ourselves. Figure out who you want to be and be true to yourself on that count. If anyone hurls something uncomfortable at you, take a moment to see if what the person says is true. If it is, then you need to change. If you find yourself disagreeing, there is no problem, everyone has the right to an opinion – you don’t have to compulsively agree with it. It’s that simple guys!! Evaluate yourself on your own judgement.

 Be like the tree laden with fruits she says. People throw stones at the tree. The tree reacts by letting go of the fruits on her branches. All the tree has to offer in return is fruits. The tree would never throw a stone back, it would always b a fruit. Be calm like the tree, receive every unkind word, once you have accepted who you are, you find no stones to throw back. It takes wisdom and humility to be a tree. Empower yourself to be that tree.

 I delve into my own life and I see that up until now I have evaluated myself, on the opinion of my parents, my spouse, my family, my friends, my colleagues and my son. Its been a compulsive need to seek the acceptance and admiration in their eyes and therefore get rewarded by their love. When I found the engagement lacking in one zone, I’ve switched to the more rewarding zone, giving it my all, looking for redemption from lovelessness. Somehow being loved has always been an equation of others feelings toward me – never a reflection of my own comfort in being who I am.

 I feel blinded by this new philosophy. Suddenly there is no performance anxiety. It’s an inward looking thought process -one which urges you, to hold a mirror up to yourself and see who you truly are. There are no masks inside of you, no compulsions to conform – just a soul which is on its journey to learn. I need to empower that soul with the freedom to learn. I need to unfetter it from unnecessary baggage.

 Yes..a much lighter journey has begun…

 Cheers,

T